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I have to apologize at this point but i feel like writing this post in German.
I suck at german grammar but whateevvss this is my Blog ;)

Wie es der Zufall so will bin ich dieses Jahr zufälligerweise in Wien während auch die VIENNALE 2016 Stattfindet - natürlich hab ich es total verschwitzt mich als Presse zu akkreditieren (ich schreib gerade eine Mail hin! wish me luck!)
Aber für gute Filme und ein um solches Festival zu unterstützen habe ich natürlich kein Problem damit mit die Kinokarten auch zu kaufen.

In diesem Jahr ist der große amerikanische Kultregisseur, Filmkomponist, Drehbuchautor, Produzent und Schauspieler John Carpenter Mittelpunkt einer Reihe außergewöhnlicher Veranstaltungen in Wien.John Howard Carpenter machte sich erstmals durch ein Studienprojekt an dem er beteiligt war einen Namen. Nämlich in dem Kurzfilm "The Resurrection of Broncho Billy"

Ein weiterer Höhepunkt in diesem Jahr ist eine kurz-Konzert und Lesung von niemandem geringerem als Patti Smith die, wie mache von euch vielleicht wissen, für mich persönlich einen sehr hohen Stellenwert hat.

Die amerikanische Musikerin und Künstlerin wird so etwas wie „The Godmother“ der diesjährigen Viennale sein. Patti Smith, die dem Festival seit längerem freundschaftlich verbunden ist, wird das Programm der Viennale durch ein Konzert im Gartenbaukino sowie – erstmalig in Österreich – einer von ihr eigens aus diesem Anlass kuratierten Photo-Ausstellung bereichern in Zusammenarbeit mit dem amerikanischen Filmemacher Jem Cohen

Der VVK für die Karten beginnt MORGEN am 15.10.2016

Und die Ausstellung wird ab 2.11.2016 im Metrokino zu besuchen sein.

Meine Empfehlungen zur Viennale?
Hier sind sie schon:

A Qiet Passion - TRAILER
Stille Reserven - TRAILER
Personal Shopper - TRAILER
Eshtebak - TRAILER
Certain Woman - TRAILER

Personal Shopper, ein Film von Olivier Assayas

Stille Reserven, ein Film von Valentin Hitz

Certain Woman, ein Film von Kelly Reichhardt

Dokumentar Filme:

Auf Ediths Spuren/Tracking Edith - TRAILER
Cinema Future - TRAILER
The Seasons in Quincy: Four Portraits of John Berger - TRAILER
Rebel Citizen - TRAILER

Listen to me Marlon - TRAILER
Fei cui zhi cheng (konnte keinen Trailer finden aber HIER ein Link zum Film)

The Seasons in Quincy: Four Portraits of John Berger, ein Film von Colin MacCabe, Christopher Roth, Tilda Swinton, Bartek Dziadosz, GB 2016

Junun, ein Film von Thomas Anderson

Rebel Citizen, ein Film von Pamela Yates

Listen to me Marlon, ein Film von Steven Riley

The "Problem" with being me.

When you grow up you go through different phases or times in your life.
These manifest themselves in the way you dress, the music you listen to, the political views you get or set as a standard for yourself.
At some point i got to an age where i thought "okay i have to be grown up now"
And that involved bundling up my past and letting it be - even looking at what i thought was right back then or belittling the essences of my former lifestyle (music, politics, etc).
The years i have spent living in Vienna where just everything - literally filled with pretty much every situation one can imagine.

I got empowered.
I was dragged down.
I gained many new friends.
I lost many old friends.
things that we as overall would call LIFE.

In all of this my biggest problem was to find a group i belong to or to have friends who are truly my friends -
not seeing that the friends i had the longest already where all i needed.
Very slowly and probably only over the last three years i have realized what it is that makes me, me.
I realized that i feel exactly what is good for me and i learned to listen to my - one calls it gut others call is god others call it inner voice - whatever it is. I hear it and i communicate with it.

For people who got to know me in that age of 10 to 15 - i apologize - i was in full on puberty and obsessed by the movement of the 1960s to 70s (still am)
To question. To be against the system, to not accept authorities, to demonstrate, to voice your opinion even it that means that someone will get dragged out of their comfort zone.
These influences and a rather fundamentalist christian surrounding  made me think there was  only black or white (not meant racially) , no room for any shades of grey.
Of course i was open to discuss things and topics - as long as my opinion stays the only way.

I have come a long way since then and this article is not meant to be a strip tease of my privacy - at least not more then i have already let you in on.

Why am i telling you all of this?
Well. Last night i went out with my friend brooke who also lives here in Bali.

I met Brooke some months ago when we both got invited to an exhibition of a mutual friend who had taken our picture for her exhibitions (see her work HERE)
The minute i met her i thought i was standing in front of a reincarnation of the one and only Stevie Nicks herself. Brooke has exquisit sense of fashion and style and absolutely RAD dancfloor skills!

We became friends. So last night we visited a new rock bar and we had the best time ever.
We literally were the only people in the bar all night long but that didnt matter much to us because we had us, a whiskey and great music.

It was last night when i realized how i missed nights like these.
Sitting in a bar talking about (rock)music raising my glass to T.N.T. by ACDC and dancing on the stage feeling like "Heroes" with David Bowie. Getting sentimental when Leonard Cohen strikes the cords and sings his cold and broken halleluja and smelling the teen spirit of days past.

I saw how many years i was following trends and a crowd because it was the new thing to do and the better/adult way to live - but actually all of that is not 100% me.
I work as fashion designer and i love my job and i can not imagine doing anything else. But i have changed, i used to walk into a room with people dressed in the Louboutin heels and their chanel bags. Sipping away on their champaign glasses gossiping about everything and everyone moving their skinny hips to horrible house music complaining about first world problems.
And i felt comfortable with that - i fused into is, i became part of that lifestyle.

But it is not my nature.
My nature is having compassion for other people, taking an interest int them. I am a helping spirit and i do everything for my friends because my friends have become my family. I enjoy being around "freaks" - people who think look and act different and still take an interest and feel love towards each other. I dont give a flying fuck what or who you wear because that does not define who you are.

"Happiness is more important then making sure the dresscode is on point."

I have been disappointed by so many of the above named "friends" but also of other people who i truly believed where closer to me. And i learned to not get sad or aggressive anymore about other people failing. Because that is just the nature f humas. we make mistakes and i never made the experience that me sitting someone down to talk (my) "sense" in their head ever worked.

I have realized who my real friends are.
I have realized that people disappoint you always but it is up to you how you deal with that disappointment.
I have realized who my real friends are not.
I have realized that i am done pleasing people.
I have realized that my life is mine and mine alone to live and and happy with myself.

And most important i have realized the power of my own choices.
I decide with my choices how the picture of life is being painted and with that i also realized that i do not believe in "wrong choices" i believe in choices and the consequences and things that are out of my hand are not for me get in panic about.

So i rase my "knob" whiskey on the rocks to my friend Brooke who i had a night full of revelation with!



Road trip to UBUD

So this is supposed to be the first of many to come articles about my life in Bali and about my daily life here.

No worries i will never stop writing about Art or Film! just in case you wondered.
My friend Mirjam from Vienna is currently visiting Bali and we decided to "do Ubud" together.

The last time i was in Ubud was in February aka it was low season.

So we didn't want to go anywhere without knowing what every middle age desperate housewife knows about Ubud - oh yes i am talking Julia Roberts - as preparation we watch "Eat Pray Love".
People. Ubud is not like that. at all.

Besides the fact that the movie itself is a HUGE bore -
quote Mirjam:  "I want the wasted 2,5 hours of my life back please" 

- and in my opinion sexist towards women (come on she stays because of him and her life makes sense again because she has a MAN in her life? sorry but that is BS).

Don't get me wrong here, Ubud is nice but i prefer to visit during the off season. And also the outskirts of the center are more for the eye. We had some great routes through the jungle and beside rivers and the "Tegalalang" canyons.

We drove all the way up to "Tempak Siring" to visit
"Titra Empul" - a Watertemple with several fountains to purify yourself in.

Yes we did that, and i found the experience to be very nice! 
What was more to our discomfort or/and disgust where the usual tourist disrespecting the privacy of the people performing the ritual. Taking pictures and selfies at the fountain, wrapping their beach scarves around themselves as if they would be actual sarongs - not cool guys!

so of course there were many Pokemon to catch on the way ;)

We stayed at the BALILA Homestay owned by my friend Birgit - lovely place for, peaceful and good prices! (starts at 17€ per night incl. Breakfast)

 A small temple in the sacred monkey forrest in Ubud - and no it was pretty much impossible for  Ms Roberts to bike along that canyon, she would have broken her neck and died #Hollywoodfakesitall

 YAY itsa me Marky!
beautiful pottery colors on the way to Tempak Siring

We also stopped in Sukawati - it's known for its big market of typical indonesian handcrafts. I purchased a beautiful handwoven Ikat

 Handwoven Ikats - simply stunning!

So when we walked through the little gangs we stopped as we saw this rooster crucified against the wall of a house. I have been living here since half a year now and never have i seen or heard of a ceremony like this so i was very interested in finding out what and why.
Our friend Made explained to us that the owner probably liked his fighting rooster so much that when after he died he nailed him to the wall out of respect.... cooooool !!!

Me catching the last sun yesterday evening :)
have a great week you all!


Sundays finest

So one thing i just really don't like doing is taking pictures of things i see or places i am at ;)
i literally have to remind myself to do so over and over again. no idea why that is...

Anyway, i had some amazing last days here in Bali because my friends from Austria  julia and christina came to visit me.
Sadly they only stayed three days with me but we made the best of them and im sure it was not the last time they came for a visit ;)

So christina is the complete opposite of me - she takes pictures all the time - so all picutres below are by her and they are pretty awesome! (her camera has WIFI! #wayofthefuture)

having the girls here reminded me how much i do miss my old home, my dog, my apartment and and my friends!
I'm really happy though that i have friends like them.

all Picturres: Christina Haderer

So Julia got a new job at a fair trade company named EZA - based in salzburg EZA buys and distributes products from all over the world making sure they are produced under fair conditions for the workers in the country of origin.

So we went and visited ARUM DALU in Canggu - they specialize in Fair trade goods such as Silver goods, Woven bags, Ikats(traditional scarves), Lamps and even casquettes !

On our way to PANTAI SEHSEH


Why gay men are the biggest Bodyshamers.


- Whoever among you readers is gay and tried using a Dating-App before might know these kind of Headlines on other profiles. Bodyshaming among homosexual men is pretty common. Queens, we need to talk.
It's actually absurd: Many gay have experience in their past with being bullied and discriminated in some way - and still we exclude others because of their appearance. To Fat, to thin, to feminin - it's pretty easy to make a mistake. BUT WHY?

Where does the "only gay in the village" look for a like-minded spirit? In the world wide web.
Dating-Apps in the Gay world are no new thing at all. We have been using them way before straight people where. We have bowed to the laws of online dating years ago.
It all stands of falls with your... Profile picture. It's all about the "right" display of one self.
The Rule is: You are only as sexy as your profile picture.

Olivia Foster-Gimbel and Renee Engeln (social psychologists) published a study in "Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity" (click HERE or HERE for more infos) that claims there is a Antifat-Bias in the gay scene.
215 gay men were interviewed between the age of 18 and 78. The Study says: Gays think of men as obese when heteros still think of them as "normal weight". In a follow-up Study Foster-Gimbel published she found out that as a slightly obese man chances to get ignored or even mobbed are higher in a gay bar then in a bar with a majority of heterosexual cliental.

A study (HERE) by Columbia University (USA) from 2007 where 126 straight men and 388 gay men where asked to fill out a questionnaire on the topic of eating disorders. The result showed that one third of all men who have an eating disorder are gay. The Reason they mentioned: Higher expectations on the outer appearance in the gay scene.


No doubt about that as in the hetero world there is a gay beautystandard, it's called "the right man".
He is a ripped athlete, really manly. Masculinity is nothing bad. But when it makes sure the only thing we accept when it comes to the male gender - now thats disturbing.
Because the problem with "the right man" is that he is actually straight.
A T-shirt design recently cause an outrage in several media channels. The print said "No Fats No Fems".
Basically means whoever does not have the perfect body and on top of that is not "straight acting* " wont stand a chance with the guy wearing the shirt.
This Shirt shows: Homonorms do exist - a norm that homosexual men have to be part of. Under the pretext of "Preference" hate is spred.
Course there are other sub-communities in the gay culture that approve and even welcome particular body-types.
Twinks - boyish young men/teens
Bears - hairy strong men
Otters - hairy slim men
Daddy, Geeks or Jocks - trained sexually successful but intellectualy rather slow men
Leather guys, trans and many more.
The problem though stays the same - reducing a person to his looks.
Good for those who fit in - its nice feeling part of a group - but the rules are harsh and you will be excluded if not fitting.

To achieve the look of "the right man" one has to follow the hurd to the gym and a change of diet is crucial. A market research done by the US-american company "Community Marketing Inc." (more infor HERE)  specializing on the LGBTIQ-community in 2012 came to the result that in the US gay men are the group of people who spent most of their money on Fitness and gym. (see it HERE)

Marius is 23, lives in Berlin and is to tall for the gay beauty-stigma, to thin and to feminine.
He says: "I do kinda want to got to the gym but i know i do not look like what is expected of me so i am afraid of rejection."

- A mindset that i myself, mark, can understand and shared for a long time.

It is the constant wish for self-improvement, one can sense that the community says:
Work on yourself, change your diet, work on your body. It's the only way to be successful and only then you can find love.
It should be pretty clear: Out outer appearance does not define who we are and there is not only ONE way to live your life. Or one way to be "the right man". Wether you are "to fat", "to thin" more masculine or more feminine, if you are homo, hetero or lesbian - Judgement is what parts us on instead of bringing us all closer together.

Specially in the "queer" community we should face each other with respect, love and sensibility. Because WE should know better. With all the discrimination, hate and persecution out culture encounters. Whoever experiances Bodyshaming and feels insecure - speak up! - "Dude that was not okay" can be a start.

this article was published on and written by Florian Prokop in german.
we translated it to english.

Sundays finest - on monday

After starting the weekend right with a wicked punk-rock concert at PRETTY POISON in Canggu i hit the town to stop by at a DJ Set at La Favela and later to KOH
KOH - probably the best club in Bali so far, ill be sure to write up an extra post about that asap ;)
So to make a long story short i had the most beautiful sunrise driving home on my scooter watching the sun come up over the rice fields (probably like 5 a.m.)
It's been a while since i went out THAT long xD

So after bumping in to my friend Fa' that night we met up at a place called "THE LAWN" in canggu.
Super chill place and not crowded, fresh fruit juice and Bakso (Indonesian meatball soup, yes i ate meat but i get to do so once a week ;). All a hungover heart needs!

Relaxing all day, taking a dip in the ocean and talking about how GoJek (best App in the world) should deliver sperm xD (wait what??!) - so pretty much a perfect chill sunday.

After sunset i decided to go home and be to myself the next day, stopped by the market and got some veggies and some tahu (tofu) to make dinner.

2 small red chilis
2 small violet onions
olive oil
2 shards of lime


 Fa' & Moi 



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